X-Men: Apocalypse

My Plot Synopsis (Based on One Trailer):

After awakening from his ancient slumber (maybe because of that time the X-Men went and fiddled with the timeline), Apocalypse has returned, and he is not pleased with the state of the world. So he decides to save mutant kind... by destroying everything.

The only ones who can stop this awful plan of world destruction are Charles Xavier and his 80's-themed X-Men! Now featuring an all-new roster of all the classic characters you loved from the old movies - except younger! Also Jubilee.

But Charles can't lead Baby Cyclops, Baby Jean Grey, and Baby Nightcrawler on his own. (No Baby Storm - she's the villain in this movie. Plot twist!) Fortunately, his old friend Jennifer Lawrence arrives to help lead the X-Men to victory! But not before most of New York city is blown up or disintegrated, and possibly everything is changed dramatically moving forward.

My Movie Thoughts (Based on One Trailer):

Please don't suck, please don't suck, please don't suck.

The X-Men, and also the X-men movies,hold a very special place in my heart. The first X-men movie was the first real superhero movie that I ever saw, and it singlehandedly got me hooked on the X-Men, Marvel, and comic books in general. And look at where I am now - writing prediction reviews about superhero movies on the internet. Thanks X-men!

The X-Men also played a fairly important part in creating the superhero movie renaissance we are currently enjoying (this bubble is never going to burst. Never!) In 2000 nobody thought that superheroes could be used to create marketable movie franchises, and the X-Men proved them wrong! Of course, movie franchises were very different back in the early 2000's. They didn't need to have fully comprehensive and cohesive timelines, or pave the way for future movies before the current movies had even been released, they just needed to include (most) of the same characters having new adventures and maybe learning a thing or two before ultimately nothing changes.

Now we live in the era of the "cinematic universe", and unfortunately for the X-Men they are still lugging around all the baggage of their years of care-free movie franchising. Suddenly 20th Century Fox is feeling a lot of pressure to take the scattered mess that is the X-Men movies and create a cohesive film series out of it. The crazy thing is: they have already done that! X-Men: Days of Future Past was AMAZING! I didn't think it was possible to connect all of the miscellaneous dots of the X-Men films, tie up all the loose ends, and still make a enjoyable movie at the same time, but somehow Days of Future Past pulled it off. So the next question obviously becomes: what next?

I can see how having an end-of-days storyline full of global destruction and life or death stakes is the only logical progression from literally manipulating time to rewrite history, but somehow when I watch this trailer everything still feels... rushed. On the one hand, Apocalypse sounds awesome. I'm guessing Oscar Isaac knocks this role right out of the park. On the other hand, there are a ton of other new faces vying for screen time in this movie, and only about two and a half hours to split up between them.

In addition to Apocalypse as the villain, you've also got Storm, Psylocke, and Angel as three of his four horsemen. All three of these characters are new to this "rebooted" timeline, and it looks like at least a few of them don't start the movie as horsemen, so they're going to need time to get to that point in the movie. And that's not even taking into account the fact that Magneto is the fourth horseman. Magneto! One of the stars of the whole damn franchise, so you know his character will get extra time to develop to the point of siding with Apoc. And that's just the villains! There's still Xavier and Beast and Jennifer Lawrence and the brand new team of X-Babies (who kind of feel like they're being shoehorned in in order to start a new trilogy immediately after this movie ends... #franchise)

One of the big things for me that made X-Men: Days of Future Past work so well was that it understood which characters in its gigantic ensemble cast needed to be in the forefront, and which characters were there to play smaller supporting roles. And when it comes to X-Men: Apocalypse, this trailer doesn't do a good job of assuring me that a similar balance is going to be used; it kind of looks like everyone is fighting for the spotlight. And when everybody gets the spotlight, nobody really gets the spotlight.

In a lot of ways this trailer feels like a cheesy 80's disaster film: poorly delivered lines that are played as weird jokes ("The Four Horsemen, he got that one from the Bible." "Or the Bible got it from him..."), massive destruction, and very little plot. This is almost ironic given the 80's setting of the film. Except that it isn't being done ironically - the trailer makes it clear that this is a serious movie that is playing for keeps with the highest stakes.

The X-Men movies pulled off the impossible with Days of Future Past. When it comes to X-Men: Apocalypse, the best case scenario is that the movie has way more character and story depth than the trailer makes it seem.

Worst case scenario: Apocalypse destroys everything and we start all over again.

My Movie Predictions (Based on One Trailer): 

SPOILERS ... maybe?

• At least one of Apocalypse's horsemen is going to get little to no backstory or character development. My money's on Psylocke.
• Jennifer Lawrence will play the role of Jennifer Lawrence more than she will play the role of Mystique in this movie.
• Xavier is going to shave his head for a reason that is completely irrelevant to the plot, mainly just so that he will look more like Professor X for the next movie in the franchise!
• Moira MacTaggert is going to be in this movie in a much meatier role than she should be considering she has no mutant powers and the last time she and Xavier were together he erased her memories of him. Also the whole mind-wipe thing will be completely ignored.
• Ironically, Havok (who does have mutant powers) will be used as a glorified cameo in this movie instead of a key character who has had several movies to develop. There will also be no reference to him and Cyclops being brothers.
• Xavier and Apocalypse will do battle in the dream realm! Or better yet, Apocalypse can control his size in the real world!
• Apocalypse is going to break or take control of Cerebro. Because that is the main plan of every X-Men villain ever.
• This movie is going to end and somehow either A) reboot everything in the X-Men movie universe so that 20th Century Fox can properly start their own "XMCU", or B) nothing will have dramatically changed at all

Captain America: Civil War

My Plot Synopsis (Based on One Trailer):

After a long search that lasted all of one scene in the second Avengers, Captain America finally finds his old friend Bucky! And Bucky remembers that he and Cap were besties!

Unfortunately, the government wants to kill Bucky for that whole "Winter Soldier" thing, which is something that Cap just won't stand for. Also, somehow this is related to the events in Sokovia (a la Avengers: Age of Ultron), and Cap and his motley crew have to register with the government in order to keep being Avengers??? Cap won't stand for that either!

Suddenly Iron Man appears, and he's on the government's side (traitor!). But also he's trying to capture Bucky? And THAT is just way too much for Cap to stand. This means war! A civil war! (Because Captain America is still a classy fellow)

My Movie Thoughts (Based on One Trailer):

Captain America: Civil War is going to be a BEAST!

The media wasn't joking around when they called it "Avengers 2.5". Even though I tried really hard to avoid all of the additional trailers and media leaks and news stories, I still know that the cast of characters in this movie is enormous! I mean, we've got the expected characters: Captain America, Bucky, Iron Man, Falcon, Black Widow. But then we also get War Machine? And Scarlet Witch? And Hawkeye?

Plus Crossbones is in it?

And Baron Zemo?

And Black Panther?

And SPIDERMAN??? (squeal!)

And Ant-Man?

And ... Martin Freeman?

With a roster that packed, my first instinct is immediately one of fear. I've seen this kind of overstuffed superhero movie before, and it has not ended well. Spiderman 3. X-Men: The Last Stand. Batman v Superman. I worry that Civil War could fall into the same traps as those films, which all started with such promise (Venom! Dark Phoenix! Batman fighting Superman!!!) 

Too many characters means not enough focus on any one character. This means no character growth, no character development. This means that whatever exciting event or conflict in the movie (read: a freaking superhero civil war!) will feel hollow and meaningless, because you won't actually care about the characters involved.

However, this trailer does an excellent job of making the focus seem to be kept tightly on the relationship between Cap and Bucky, the relationship between Steve and Tony, and the conflict that grows out of these relationships. I mean sure, there's also that whole "Superhero Registration" thingy going on, but it feels like that is still being directly experienced through Captain America and Iron Man.

And the best part about that, is that this trailer doesn't even make it feel like Captain America is the righteous hero and Iron Man is the sinister villain: both characters seem to have valid arguments that people can respond to and support. I myself was team Cap 100%... until that last line from Tony broke my heart. Now I don't know who to root for! So conflicted!

Sure, you've got all your other supporting characters; your Falcons, your Black Widows, your Wars Machine, your Avenger B-Team - but they all seem to be just outside of the spotlight. Which is exactly where I want them to be: supporting the story, not stealing it! I can't say I know that this will be the case with all the new faces in this movie (how does Black Panther even fit in here???), but this trailer leaves me hopeful.

Also, according to this trailer, this movie is going to be sad. Like, the saddest Marvel has ever been. x100. Just listen to the score! Iron Man is the original sassy MCU jokester, but in this trailer his trademark wit falls on dead, sobbing ears. This is going to be a serious piece.

"So was I"

*sobs*

My Movie Predictions (Based on One Trailer): 

SPOILERS ... maybe?

• Captain America goes to Mexico! (look at those palm trees!)
• Scarlet Witch is going to wreck some shit, and probably not help the superhero freedom cause very much
• It's all of the Avengers vs Iron Man and War Machine? That doesn't seem like a fair fight at all - no wonder they're getting their asses kicked.(Note: Unfortunately I do know that team Iron Man has a number of other allies thanks to the unavoidable press monster *grumble grumble* But when this trailer first came out I didn't!)
• Captain America is going to die. At least, I hope that he dies. It would the perfect end to this saga, and really let the world know that Phase 3 of the MCU is playing for keeps. This will only work, however, if the normal audience leaves without any idea or thought that Cap will come back. Don't Batman v Superman us, Russos! Show us that Marvel has the confidence to kill a character for an entire movie before bringing them back! No more of this Phase 2 everybody lives crap!
• Bucky will become the new Captain America???